I agree with the ladies. You give back as good as you get!
I've been reading along and am fascinated by the topic. Thank you all for sharing.
The maternal attachment issue strikes a chord with me also in regards to my H.
A question I have GAG, is there a time in childhood that it is more critical than others that a child could be damaged by lack of attachment to their mother?
The problem is is that I know very little about my H's childhood. I do know that his father died unexpectedly at nine, and his mother was never the same afterward concerning the family unit. She withdrew from them. I do know his mother did become overly protective and H was never allowed to play organized sports because of her fear that he would be hurt. He was not allowed to carry a pocket knife until he returned from the Army. He does have one older brother (by 3 years) that there is very little contact with.
I also wonder if H upon his return from the military rushed into marriage the first time to break away from his mother? H was engaged 3 times before he finally married the fourth woman he was engaged to. His marriage to his first wife lasted 7 years.
I also have to wonder if ow's rejection of H when they were 16 figures into any of this?
I know I won't ever be getting answers to these questions. That would require H digging and looking inside. In our 27 years of marriage H has never really opened up about anything concerning his childhood. His standard answer was always, "I don't remember." I wonder if he couldn't remember or tried very hard not to?
GAG, it sounds as though your XH keeps making positive steps toward you. You've been very patient and empathetic with him. I hope it all works out just as you want it to. Someday I hope your XH realizes how lucky he is!
