Thanks Sanderika. I am so glad to hear your feedback. This forward movement was so unexpected and I am trying hard to follow his advice and be patient and know that in time all will be revealed. I'm not really sure what's on his mind since the conversations have been so general. He has told me a few months ago that he wanted to apologise to my parents but he felt that it was hypocritical given that he was still with ow.He is very clear that apologising is going to be very hard for him and he hasn't said that it's something he will do in the immediate future but still something on his radar.
I am trying to aid the reconnection by being affirming and trying to help him see the other side of his personal put downs. He listens to what I say but maintains the legitimacy of his feelings and interpretation.
My parents are forgiving people and I think that initially they will be cool and awkward around him but will warm with time. They'll never be rude to him or refuse to accept his apology.Facing them will be HUGE. I think this very thought will have kept H from letting himself get too close.
H is keeping a distance. He's just been to collect D but he didn't come in. I am trying to respect his need to move forward slowly. I must admit that I am still feeling cynical. Can this finally be a real forward movement? Am I a time filler between ow and the next? Does this help a smooth financial settlement for H? He told me he had a busy day tomorrow and didn't elaborate. Immediately I jumped to a conclusion....ow is still around. I didn't say anything about that for 24 hours.
So, later, rightly or wrongly I asked H what Happened to ow. I did preface it by asking if I could ask him a question and that if he felt uncomfortable giving a response that was ok, too. (If he said it was none of my business I was well ready to say fair enough but I would be running far, far away) I thought he could say A. None of your business or B. we split or C. we're still together. However, he gave none of those responses. He said he understood why I wanted to know and he would explain it to me next time he sees me. Hmm, am I going to get told they're still together? Then, the photo is gone and she's gone and H is making definite fwd movement. I must be patient, I must be patient......
