Separated with 50/50 custody of an infant

[sparks14]

Thanks for the response, Jack. Let me see if I can answer some of your questions.

Is she complaining or does she seemed bothered by a lack of space? If so you can scale something back. If not? Why change it?

I believe that space was a key factor in her wanting to move into her own apartment. She wanted the space to figure out her needs and feelings. She had overstayed her welcome living in her brother's living room, so she had no room to think and act on her own. She could have come back home in this situation, but I know that she is not ready for that at this time. I think each of the reasons we see each other is important right now, so I am a bit confused on how to give her the space she needs.

Great word 'dettach'; a catch-phrase that means something different a lot or a little to everybody.
What does it mean to you?

To me it meant my wife's bad day, bad attitude, bad whatever, I did not or did my best to not let it impact my day. And her good day, good attitude, good whatever, I enjoyed for the moment but did not expect it to continue.

But what is your deffinition?

It is such a catch phrase around here. The three elements to DBing that I have been working on the most are 180s, GAL, and detach. To me, the detachment is something that has been enforced on me here by many others.

It means less text messages and phone calls for no reason but to check up. No more doing the little things out of love that I had become so accostomed to doing like small sentiments. It means letting her breath instead of making those actions or speaking those words that push her away.

These are some of the factors that I have been gaining here. If they are different for everybody, am I on the right track?

I see your definition was more about not allowing your W's behaviors influence your attitude. I seem to be almost seeking the opposite with mine.

This is where you monitor the interactions. Not with an emotional eye, but with a logical one. Heck I read up on body language to help me out.

You should be able to determine if it is positive, or too much...and not just for her brother, if it is too much for you? Back it off a bit.

If it is negative you'll have to adjust it somehow in order to get it to work.

It has been difficult for me to take a step back from the emotion involved in these interactions and instead study the interactions from a logical point of view. It is strange how that works. I am a very logical person and W is typically more emotional. It is almost if the tides have completely turned.

I gather from your thoughts that I need to figure out if these interactions are too much by stepping back and looking at them from almost an outside view.

Am I on the right track?