At the last stop

[Orchid37]

I didn't cry today. It's the first day since I found out. I can't believe it. Also, I went for an hour long walk with a girlfriend and now I'm just exhausted. I have not been able to come to terms with what is starting to feel like my failure. I did follow the DB rules, but not only was I not able to make him stop and think - I feel like I pushed him to this other woman....except, I still cannot think of any way that I could have prevented this.....

Clearly, not in a good head space today. Am trying to move on from this, but having a very difficult time of it.... It's frustrating that he has a relationship and a possible child and I have......well, I have me.

HA! Actually, ok, I'm not in a bad situation. It feels like I am doomed somehow. But, of course, that is just emotion....feelings come and go...its a tough thing to convince yourself though.

Sigh. 2 good things today. Did not cry and Went for a walk.

I will try to have a better mind set for tomorrow. Just rambling today...

Sigh