Yuck. Thought I was done with that crud. That feeling of dread and general low feelings. I know what brought it about. The conversation with the STBX the other night. Can't help but feel it's like looking at somebody in the eyes and feeling that knife slide up the back. Ever so slowwwwly. I also know it doesn't last long. That's a plus. And it's not really realistic. She can't really hurt me any longer. She can make it a pain with the kids, but that's about all. She is trying based on the emails. And heck, I have been trying to get her to want to spend more time with them for years. It's just crazy. I shouldn't live like this. I should keep my sights where they belong. Heck, that's been the struggle all along really. Keeping my perspective (i.e. sanity) during all of this. It goes back years and crept in slowly, so I don't beat myself up about it. Just is part of the journey out of the hole I was in. But damnit, I'm ready to be out of it. And to stop sliding around and back into it, even if just a little bit.
Enough griping. I'm going to do something more positive with my evening.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
