Well, this is a case of do as I say rather than do as I do...However,
A lot of what I have read about dating says that it is a good idea to go out with people who "aren't your type". It is supposed to be about learning about people and about yourself. I know you have some very good ideas about what you like and what you find interesting, but maybe you can think of dating the young guys and the Santa Claus' as networking. You never know...you might just meet someone who ends up being a good friend who eventually introduces you to someone more age appropriate.
I have also read that it is a mistake to date exclusively with someone right away. By casually dating and going out w/ more than one person at a time, you are less likely to let hormones get in the way of a good decision.
Ok, again do as I say and not as I do. I consider myself an "expert" due to reading the following...each given to me by a loving and concerned family member:
maybe you can think of dating the young guys and the Santa Claus' as networking. You never know..
Lol - SG, I HAVE asked a couple of the cute young guys whether they didn't have an older brother or a father who would be right for me instead???? That would be networking - right? lol - maybe the lawyer will have a cute boss I can meet.
I know I DO need to just get out there and go on some dates. So I am going to start accepting offers from anyone I find halfway interesting, regardless of age.
And I'm with you on the not dating exclusively thing. There are some that make your heart go pitter pat - it's so tempting to throw all your energies into them when they appear, which isn't often. It's just not efficient to focus on one guy, then wait until that doesn't pan out to focus on the next. It's a numbers game, I'm starting to realize.
maybe you can think of dating the young guys and the Santa Claus' as networking. You never know..
It's a numbers game, I'm starting to realize.
The Henry Cloud book recommends dating FIVE at once! He says that once you start going out a lot and dating a lot, you change your energy, which makes you more attractive and then you get more dates. (paraphrasing here)... He is a little too conservative for me, but I really liked the book as a whole.
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Home sick today but I can do a little writing, so here are some of my online dating stories. I think that while I was going through the separation and the D I was so shell-shocked and insecure it took me a while to work up to a "real date"...LOL! So my first experience was w/ the e-mailing guy. (Found him on OK cupid)
I had posted a profile, and was getting a reasonable amount of views and responses, when EMG (E-mailing guy) started writing me. He lived about an hour away, and was an excellent writer. We began corresponding, long witty, engaging letters back and forth. Several messages a day. It was SO MUCH FUN! I felt so validated and it really was giving me a lift after the devastation of the breakup. So finally after about 3 months of this, we decided to meet. I had planned a nice picnic in our local Arboretum. But yes, he ding-dong-ditched me and never showed up. I was hurt and disappointed. In the end I think he was probably a married guy,
or a guy otherwise not available and he was just having fun. Honestly, I was having fun too, but because of that I do agree w/others that it is a good idea to meet sooner rather than later In Real Life.
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Well, I closed my Fitness Singles and my Plenty of Fish profiles. It was just not fun anymore and causing me more angst than fun.
I'm still on eharmony and chemistry.com, but I think I've gone through all the guys in my area because now I'm getting guys from the surrounding states. I'm not interested in something long distance. Geesh....feels strange.
The weather is nicer now so I'm thinking hiking and the golf couse might bring along some "potentials." I know I'm picky and maybe that's a good thing. That said, I agree that the pickings of men between 45 and 53 is SLIM!! Where are those guys anyway????
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
they are with the guys between 34-40, either gay or married!
not much luck here... though I haven't initiated contact I did see a few guys I liked... but too shy to send a 'wink' or short msg... don't know... still old fashioned and expect guy will see I checked them out and contact 'me' first...
Still self-conscious about myself and parts of my body... also, most guys my age range want to start a family and I'm done with kids, so that cuts down on my pickings... well, if it's meant to be it will happen.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
honestly, are all no-shows cowards 5-year olds in disguise? (i'm probably insulting 5yr olds) honestly, is it THAT hard? I got a no call guy (I waited and waited when we'd agree we'd talk for the first time)... jerks, don't they realize how bad they look when they do this? ish!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Well, if Henry Cloud recommends dating FIVE at once, okay...but where do I find them?
I am pretty clear in what I want, but I'm ready to try dating someone "outide the box" as well.
cat03, Just go for it!! These days the guys are expecting us to contact them and actually like it. I've sent out lots of short messages and I don't get many responses. My therapist said to be glad about that because she knows I'm strong, confident, financially independent, not desperate or needy and many of these guys are threatened/intimidated by that. Oh well...I'm not changing for anybody. And don't worry about your body or your looks. Your lovely personality is what will shine through and they will love you for it!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
