H takes all the blame - why?

[angel61]

Good thing I am at work. During the first few months post bomb, I could NOT work. Now I look at it as such a welcome distraction.

I like the term Defense Mode. I agree with you, I think the difference now is that I feel I want to protect myself from being constantly rejected. Its no longer an escape from pain, as am no longer in deep pain. And your comment on not beating him to death .... you know, I sleep beside H still, and it takes a lot of energy to stop myself from doing just that!!!! I sometimes just leave an go to D12's room when I am feeling just that.....

Its true my emotions can turn on a dime, and one of the things I am trying to learn more and more is self control.

I do have DR, and I do go read it over and over. I also read Love and Respect, Love Languages, Love Dare, books by Max Lucado. Lately though I have been not so motivated, and have not been reading.

I don't want to give up, but maybe I need a vacation....