Man I was close today. While I was talking to W the words "If you want it, you got it" or "you have until this date to make your decision" were on the tip of my tongue. I don't know why but they almost came out. After I left her part of me was disappointed that I didn't say either one of them.
Saturday will mark the two month mark that I moved out of the house. I have really tried in this time to do 180's and I would give my self a grade of A. By doings these they have not only put doubt into my W's choice but has brought me closer to my kids and my church.
I have tried to GAL and would grade myself D. The little I have done has not done anything to improve my mind. I have zero motivation to go do anything and when I force myself all I do is think about my W the entire time.
So two months into this and I have very little to show for it as to improve my sitch. Not only have I made very little progress in making myself feel better I have not seen one positive baby step that would encourage me that W will not D me. I made a choice today that what I was doing (showing and telling how things will be better) was not working. So I decided to gain control of my $ and tell the W that we needed more space. How did she respond? She said that it sounds great and that she doesn't care about the money and she is in no hurry to make up her mind.
