......are these itty bitty baby steps?

[Sanderika]

Hi GAG,

You and I are in a similar place.

It is gutwrenching to learn they can take a vacation whilst we toil away at home with jobs and for me a 14 year old who needs to go to school everyday.

This is their selfish side for sure. Those in the "me" mode don't care or worry about things they leave behind. They assume they will be the same when they return as they were when they left.

I have been think about you a lot. I have H issues that I am trying to sort out.

I think that TT went well this week. You are tired. XH knows you have been spending a lot of your free time taking care of XMIL. I have a feeling he didn't put too much negative thought on any of your mood. XH knows you are tired and XMIL is weighing heavy on you just as it is on him/them.

Another thing to realize.... XH will be/and is grateful for everything you do for him and his mother, he's a guy....they really don't go all mush with thanks and graces. A guy will think a simple "thanks" or "thank you" will do the job. XSIL on the other hand, you would expect her to carry on with words and hugs and be a lot more expressive. This is normal and typical.

In my sitch I have decided that I will not initiate a conversation with H upon his return. I am going dark on him. I am busy with my jobs and son and I really can't be bothered with his crap. If he wants to continue to be a dub than I am not going to have any concern. I can hold my head up high. I am being a good and responsible person.

You will have to see how the next week unfolds between you and XH before you decide how you should be to him after this vacation.

I hope MIL does not pass while he is away. He will never forgive himself of that one.

I hope he answers yes to your invite and follows through. It would be a big boost to your morale and will help with your thoughts of him at the moment.

(((((hugs)))))

Sanderika