GAG, I've read along and I am sending you a big hug. I know the pain and where you are coming from. The resentment starts to build and it's draining when you feel that you are the one always looking forward, always thinking ahead, always planning, preparing, considering and doing. You do need time for you to just 'be'. You do need time to nurture and care for you. If that means stepping aside a little, just do it.
I know how much your heart must have dropped reading about H's time away. That was a blow.
Perhaps, as the others have said, it is time to pull back a little and again, let him recognise that you are not a definite in his life and he has responsibilities in this relationship, too.
