As I think you know (since you're asking to be talked down!), this is one of those intense feelings we cycle through, the feeling that if we give up and divorce, the pain will magically stop.
Of course, it won't. Divorce is one of the most painful events possible in life--and there's no way to short-circuit the pain: it has to be endured and grappled with. What you're feeling is a reaction to being rejected--but rejecting H in turn won't make you feel less angry, hurt, abandoned, etc. Nor will it magically make D12 feel safer, since it will just be trading one set of emotions for another.
Still, I remember lying in bed beside H feeling exactly as you do. It took incredible energy to stop myself from waking him up and having it out! But I trained myself to calm down and fall asleep, because I'd need sleep to get through the next day. (And I'd had insomnia most of my life.)
I think your insight into your H is invaluable, and that he definitely wants to escape at least as intensely as you do. But, as with you, he's cycling through a series of other states as well.
Hold on tight for the ride, and do something fun with D12 today!
