Re-Bolt

[Bolt]

So I've been a little MIA for a few days. Things were a little up and down but at least the heights aren't as high as they used to.

Had a major breakthrough the last two days. Been reading Hold Me Tight very closely and thinking a lot. AND have been putting some of it's practices to work.

And it is paying off.

I'm learning new ways to communicate with my wife when things are either bothering me or are a little unsettling. For a few days now, W's stomach has been bothering her. She hasn't been able to go too far from the bathroom and hasn't been in the best of moods. She didn't go to the beach with the family for that reason - and I was cool with it.

Yesterday, she ran all over the place with a friend, shopping/eating...we had bible study last night and she said she didn't want to go because of the stomach thing...now normally, I would have said harsher words like, "So you could go shop but you can't spend time with me?!" Instead, I thought about it and put it in much gentler and kinder terms. I said, "Babe, it hurts me that you would rather spend time with your friends but not with me." She instantly comforted me by saying that she did want to go and that the day just drained her. We didn't fight at all and I was cool with the response. I felt I got what I wanted out and that it was relatively resolved.

When I got back, we talked a little but she was online when I was trying to talk. In the same earlier tone, I said, "I don't mind you talking at all online to your friends but I feel neglected when you do it when I'm right here talking to you." She agreed and apologized. I said, it's ok but we need to find some time for just US to talk. She agreed and said she would make time and wouldn't do the texting/IM stuff when we were talking.

So that turned out nice...but it wasn't until this morning that it really paid off.

We had a great talk. She even asked what negatives do I see in her. I actually had a hard time telling her some but did say that not being more intimate is a negative for our relationship. I said, not necessarily sex but being a little more receptive to touching and being closer. She said she's trying but that she just doesn't know about her feelings. I pulled her close and said sometimes, we just have to do things before we can feel them. We shared a very passionate...hug BUT I felt a TON closer. I could feel some of that wall fall away.

The rest of the morning was great! We had fun with the kids and she was very outgoing and always touched me when she walked by me.

This is the road I like. And I do feel it started with me communicating better. What this does is fill me with more confidence which will then make me even more attractive to her. It's all a snowball and it can be started with just one little push.

I do so like these kind of days better than the other kind