You need to let go of the marriage. We know that you want to save the marriage, but that is something that is beyond your control. The marriage as you knew it is dead. Your only option is to become a new and better person and then perhaps your wife may want to come back and start a new relationship with you.
At this time there is nothing to save. It is finished. I am in the same position. My wife has told me that she can't go back. I have to accept that. What I can do is work on improving myself, so that if she does decide to reconsider our relationship she will see value in doing so. I have told her that I am not asking her to go back, I am simply asking her to open her door just abit so that she can see if I am worth starting a new relationship with.
Its hard for us to understand how they can just walk away from 10 or 15 years of a relationship. But for them, if they were not happy in that relationship, then this is a positive step forward. Returning to the relationship would be a step backwards.
