W has definately turned a corner as far a increased communication goes, but I suspect it might be a bit of a show for the kids. It's only in front of them it seems she talks to me. We havn't had a private conversation in months.
My intuition senses she is just not comfortable and is trying real hard to make life appear normal. I could be wrong, you know, just reacting emotionally, bacause of my own discomfort with the whole sitch and my "expectations" of how normal people should react to their own "sins".
But I have a strong notion that I am right. The other day I approached W and asked, "Have you talked to your lawyer and told her we are ready to wrap this up?" She said, "not yet." As the D day apporaches, stubborn as she is, W will force herself to be happy about it, while underneath will lie a tinge of curiosity about my readiness to "wrap it up".
I on the other hand I find the most discomfort in being in limbo - $hit or get off the pot! Divorce or reconcile, It's him or me etc etc. I guess that comes from detaching. I will not allow myself to be hurt or angered by anything she says or does any more.
I was praying yesterday and I got the strangest message yet: "You'll be happier when you are rid of her." I hope that means the present version of her and that she is changing in time. I'd hate to think God wants her out of my life literally. Then I thought, it's true, I will really am happier when this present version of MLC W is not around all the time. We'll see. Let go and let God as the saying goes.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
