My wife still lives in the same house as me with our 3 kids. She is fully detached from me and has made it clear that she is not interested in working on the marriage. She chooses whether or not to respond to my emails or text messages. At home she rarely inquires into how I am feeling, what I am doing or what I have done.
I limit the amount of communication that I initiate with her. When I do initiate, I expect nothing in return. When she initiates I know that it is typically because she needs or wants something. Its just the way things are. Does it bother me? Yes. Do I let it consume me? No.
I am always polite and upbeat in my responses but beyond that I do not really care if she chooses to not say good morning, not say goodnight or not respond to an email. I treat her as a friend and nothing more. At times I would prefer to be in your situation. no kids and wife moved out. I could then move on and start my new life with no strings attached.
We all need to move on and become a new and improved version of ourselves. Whether our wives want to buy-in to the new us is up to them. What keeps me going is that my wife put up with my faults for 10 years before she gave up. The 15 months that I have put into this since the bomb was dropped is nothing.
We all know that this is a painful process. The problem is that at times the pain is far beyond what we ever imagined.
