That little engine that will ...

[MeMyselfandI]

Updating again. So, I sent H a text last night to find out about car for hockey tournament. He asked if we could talk later as he had problems with his pipes at his house again. I said I was sorry and hoped it all worked out. Well, this turned into a two hour text exchange ... crazy. So, some of the things that were said were quite interesting. First, we got into a discussion about us. He went on about how stressed and confused he is and how he sees me so happy. He also said he's glad that I can now see what he saw a while ago, that we were just going through the motions of life and if we didn't separate a year ago, we would have after the kids left. I'm guessing he thinks this because he sees me happy. I didn't respond about our relationship, I just responded that I'm finding my own happiness within myself because I discovered that is where it has to start.

He goes on about others that are out there that he could have but he doesn't want 'cause they only add stress. Then he goes on to say he's the one who adds stress because he can't relax and he thinks too much. He was really all over the map. He mentioned a couple of times that I know him better than anyone. He brings up how he screwed up with OW and kids and he felt the need to introduce her because she was distracting him from the kids and she wanted to meet the kids so he only thought it was fair. I told him that I had been dating someone casually for quite a while now who really wants to meet the kids but I won't go there because I don't want to hurt the kids and they are not ready. He asked if he could know who it was and I just said it wasn't important at this time.

Conversation was going along pretty good and I kept up with no pressure. I told him I do love and adore him but that didn't mean that I wanted to be with him right now; however because of the kids, it did mean that I had a vested interest in his happiness and I really do want him to be happy.

I suggested that we make a deal that before anyone else either of us may be dating meets the kids, we talk to eachother about it first. He said ok but he was a little worried that it would cause fights and we are just starting to get along. I said I didn't think it would and he says, ok then, I have a "friend" coming to town this weekend and was going to go with her and kids to McDonald's for lunch on Friday as only friends. He goes on to say that the kids both have a sleepover on Friday night. I reply saying I don't know why he has to involve the kids, just have a good time with her Friday night when the kids aren't around. He responds saying, I dunno, bad idea? I tell him to do what he'd like but personally, I did not understand why the kids would have to meet her and could he not just spend time with her without the kids to which he responded yes he could. He never did say whether that was what he was going to do and then changed the subject. I really wonder if he was just testing me to see if I'd get jealous or how I would react after our recent interactions. Not that it really matters because I think I passed the test with flying colours but still held pretty firm on my beliefs about protecting the kids. I really think he needs to experience these OW to see what he is missing!

On to the subject change, he wanted me to add him on bb messenger. We joked back and fourth about how to do that, (I'm somewhat technology challenged in that area), then D started texting me so I said, I gotta run, D is texting me. He says, I know, she is sitting on my lap. We both laughed at that. I talked to D for a few minutes then went to sleep. When I got up this morning, there was a text from H about an hour and a half after we stopped talking, letting me know he fixed his pipes. I wrote back this morning saying I was glad he got them fixed.

This morning, I finally figured out how to add him to BB messenger and we chatted for a while. Chatted again this afternoon for a bit too. Lots of joking and a little flirty and he was teaching me some things.