GAG, I initiated this conversation because when I read over the transcript of our skype conversation there was an incident from years ago which I had been thinking of and I had let that incident colour my view. However, H didn't know what the incident was so I decided it was time to bring it into the open to be fair to him. I called him and I asked if I could visit and told him I wanted to talk to him and he said that was fine. When I got there his boarder was there and I was introduced to him and then H took me around to the other side of the house to a small patio area to talk. I must admit I felt a little awkward meeting boarder because he will have met ow before.
So I openly said it was a R talk. I had 5 key words on a piece of paper. I would never have done so if we hadn't had the convo the night before. In this convo I almost sensed H's need to clear up a few issues. I knew it was a risk and that it could backfire but I had to go with my gut and I wanted to clarify a few points.I don't want to harp on the past but we both have to acknowledge that it will be necessary at times to create a future of some sort.
I don't know what that future looks like and neither does H. We were open about this and said that it was a day to day proposition but we were moving forward. So for today we are just trying to be open and honest.
I felt no further growth could be expected if we didn't get rid of a few of the elephants in the room.
The one thing I heard was for me to be patient. With ow gone I feel quite happy now. I feel like H and I are on more positive ground.
The conversations we have had and my knowledge of H enables me to feel quite calm however, I don't know the MLC mind so I have to trust God that H isn't going to have a change of heart or retreat significantly. We all know this is very much a possibility.
I have lots of questions to ask H but I know that their answers will not help atm.
D does not know I had that conversation. She was at swimming. I will not say anything to her as she's been on this carousel often enough.
GAG, I will get that book on the weekend because I can already see from your excerpt things I can relate to. Library doesn't have a copy.
There are lots of things I am thinking; 'what if's' but I have told myself not to worry about those. Today is ok and that's all I need to focus on. I think I'll need that as my mantra.
