Recovering after a same sex affair - Part 3

[sparks14]

One thing was was omitted from the therapy session was my W reminding us that she was unhappy in our marriage before she ever met the OW or had these feelings.

I reminded her that if our marriage were to reconcile, it would be a new marriage with a new me. I think that was when my therapist chimed in and said this from the above post....

"Our therapist tossed out the gem that said that men that go through this experience become awesome spouses to the next woman due to the situation and changes made. Thought it was great for my W to hear that. Therapist also mentioned that she has also seen huge improvements in marriages after this sort of thing happens. She said that couples make some great changes and build better foundations. That was also nice to hear."

I did slide a little when I expressed that the problems that we were having were not the kind that prompt divorce but were the general ups and downs of a marriage. W was not sure about that, because to her, they were major problems in hindsight. I told my W that our marriage had some great times as well. W was not as sure. This is probably just the fog of the WAS. I understand it, and probably should not have gone there.

So now, I get going with my GAL during this separation. Bite the bullet with the idea of my W joining lesbian support groups, going out with gay friends, and going out to gay clubs. Crazy to think about, but I need to worry about me and me only. Just glad the communication is finally there. I do know that was a trouble spot before all of this happened, so it is a bit of a 180 for both W and me.