I am assuming <gasp> that your wife is an invert, or an inverted personality.
I will also assume that you are the opposite, and have an extroverted personality.
The biggest obstacle you face appears to be communication. It is the core of your vents lately , and I see you not understanding a lot of it.
It appears that words come easy to you, thoughts are at your forefront , as typical with an extroverted personality.
IF your wife is an introvert, then although she has thoughts, and thinks quickly, she also takes her time to reflect those thoughts before she can express them outwardly.
Things process internally with an introvert.
What I see mostly with you is that you want her to think and respond on YOUR time. Not hers. And that pressure keeps her stuck in her cave until SHE processes them.
Suppose this...
You plant a thought , don't expect her to answer immediately, then walk away until her answer comes on HER time ?
I had to learn this myself in a relationship. I had always communicated on my terms, for me, and what I used to process information.
Then I realized that I was running over top of this person in a way that I couldn't see. It came across as pushy and controlling. And when the answer wasn't there when I felt it should be there, my expectations would skyrocket and my patience were non-existent.
I have seen that lately, when you press and disagree, it is because she feels pressed, and pressured into an immediate response that she probably can't put into words right at that moment.
What I an also seeing is, that after an amount of time ( which you spend stewing, because your patience is gone and your expectations are not met) she eventually comes around and you discuss things. Then you come on here and promise that you won't do that again....
This move is a HUGE step.....give her space to process it...
