Piecing is almost harder than before #2...

[LearningPatience]

Harrier,
I think it's perfectly normal to have those panic flashes under the circumstances. In my sitch, I did read some texts and wish I'd never seen them, much worse sounding than what you described. My W also hasn't broken off contact w/ OM, but I don't believe the EA is ongoing. It's hard for us knowing they still interact with OM.

All those things you worry about your W and EA could be true, but most likely aren't. Again, the crazy thoughts are normal, but you have to get past them. Half of that is just knowing they're crazy thoughts.

A book that helped me process things better is "Not Just Friends." It covers both EA and PA from the standpoint of all the involved parties and does so in a non-blaming way. Maybe this book will help in your sitch. Good luck!