Today's journalistic exploration: feelings.... nothing more than feeeee-lings (heh, sorry for the earworm).
Monday W and I had plans to do something together. We decided to just get take out and watch a streaming tv show at the house. I picked up a bottle of wine on the way over along with the food. Had a little small talk and sat down to eat, drink and watch tv. After I finished my glass of wine and the show was almost over (42 minute show) I had an overwhelming urge that I didn't want to be there. I actually wanted to go shopping instead! Told W I should go and she really wanted me to stay for one more glass and another episode. It was a two part episode so I agreed. Had big hug afterward and did go shopping like I had planned. Got text later from W thanking me for the enjoyable evening.
I realized I forgot my leftovers but assumed they'd be fine until Friday when I'm staying over to watch the animals (W out of town for weekend). W emails next morning saying I can come by to pick them up, she may or may not be there. I figure it's on my way to get my boys so I agree. Get there after work, hoping I don't run into her. Just as I was leaving, W pulls up and we chat for a minute. Get into car (no hugs) and take boys to see my new apt.
W texts later asking how boys like the apt. I respond 1/2 hour later that they like it, reminds them of apt I had after D. Then, boys M comes to pick them up and I show her the place. We talk for a couple of minutes and I'm in a hallway where she's uncomfortably close to me. That was also weird for me, as she wasn't physically close, but my personal space must have mushroomed out at the time. Not going to try to psychoanalyze why I suddenly don't want to be near either 1st or 2nd W.
Not exactly a Pulitzer-worthy story I know, but it's helpful for me to write it down.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
