well nutten much changed yesterday. she texted me and ask was i coming by our house to pickup our son for baseball practice today. i told her yes. this is a change being she wants me to come by the house more to pickup our son instead of meeting her somewhere. i texted her last night and just said night. she responded saying night along with the kissing icon. i aint getting my hopes up but theis is a big change from her not even responding to my text messages.
Geeze, I'd take a little sex at this point. My W makes a disgusted gesture anytime I even remotely touch her.
I guess if she really isn't attracted to me, I'm not going to be able to change that. It would seem that in last 5 years or so she's lost any sort of attraction to me since she almost never initiated sex.
So I guess for you, the fact that she's initiating means she's at least physically attracted to you which normally comes before the emotional connection anyways...
Me - 34 W - 33 M - 8 years T - 15 years D7, D5, D2 Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY" W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
SCARED UR RIGHT THE SEX IS AWESOME ESP WHEN SHE INITIATES IT, SHE SAID THE OTHER NIGHT SEX WITH US NOW IS DIFFERENT LIKE WHEN WE FIRST MET. BUT YOUR RIGHT EMOTIONAL HEELING TAKES LONGER BUT BEING PHYSICAL WITH HER AGAIN IS HALF WAY THERE OR SO THE COUNSELOR SAYS.
she still hasn't backed off the divorce and says she doesn't know when i bring up putting it on hold. says she doesn't want us being touchy feely around the kids cause it will confuse them if things dont work out.
John, how are you working on building the emotional connection?
When W and I were firing on all cylinders we cuddled quite a bit particularly after ML sometimes falling asleep while doing so. So much so it became an indicator between ML and sex.
How are you working to building intimacy?
How are you servicing the friendship?
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
well i am being her friend talking to her about everyday stuff our kids and just being there if she needs me. not getting to close and letting nature take its course. i can tell a difference in the first time we had sex and the second. there was a whole lot more kissing on her part. and like i said earlier she is starting to initiating conversations and saying good night sending the kissing icons. im not putting much into that just trying to love her with no expectations.
also i have stopped being controlling asking her about her every move and analyzing everything she says. ive also stopped relationship talks and flirt and have fun with her. i compliment her with no expectations. you gotta remember ive gone from her never answering any of my text to having sex with her and her initinating conversations even telling me where she is.
i need some advice from my wife not texting me about anything to going to texting me about our son during the day and sometimes asking what im doing. does that mean anything
It sounds like the changes you are making are working. Just keep working on the things you have mentioned (not being controlling being a big one).
Other than that, I wouldn't read too much into it. Trying to analyze and figure out her every action is a form of being controlling in and of itself.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
