Jody also told me not to make my life seem so great. She said in my W's case if she did not feel needed or respected any attempt by me to seem as if life was wonderful would come across as validating in the wrong direction. I would be validating a negative feeling. Don't be a downer but acknowledge that she is needed if that makes sense.
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
You have gotten better about the contacting. And the contact you do have has gotten more friendly and R talks have happened less frequently.
I agree with you here. Something I did wrong in the beginning was thinking every talk had to be a R talk. I have learned the hard way that sometimes talking about the weather can be just as effective towards my end goal.
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
The text came across as a very grand romantic gesture to me. I don't know how your W interpreted it of course. I also have no idea whether she likes that sort of thing.
Most people would view it that way. I strongly believe that she wanted to hear it for some reason. Perhaps I am wrong, I stand by that text.
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
How would you validate a friend? How would you boost a friend's self esteem?
You do both deserve better. And you can get there if you keep working on your communication skills and keep your desire for control in check.
Excellent point. I have control over ME and thats it.
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
I am in Nor Cal. Conveniently located an hour or less from wine country to the West, East, and South. Don't waste your money on something I can probably get cheaper. Amazon gift cards are always welcome though.
Once the fog has cleared I will make it my lifes mission to find a way to repay your kindness. I will pay it forward regardless of what happens
