Let Us Be Outstanding Together.

[Busting Mode]

Now I have to wait until I hear from Beckie again and confirm her/our DB appointment for next Monday.

My coach said I should leave it up to Beckie to decide whether or not she wants to attend with me or by herself. She also said, and I totally agree, it would be great if Beckie had a session by herself first.

So we'll see what she prefers.

I am feeling so grateful to all the wise and brilliant DBers and staff for helping me come this far.

In other news today, my business partners gave me the gift of going to Landmark, a 3 day personal development seminar that I have always wanted to attend.

Life is beautiful!

[Busting Mode]

Now you know "why" and have a vague idea of "what" is keeping you from being the man you aspire to be.

What is keeping you from meeting your goal?

I would BUT this.

I would BUT that.

I would BUT _______.

I would BUT...
It's too hard.
I'm too tired.
I can't do it.
It isn't worth it.
It'll never work.
Why do I have to.
Just leave me alone.
I don't care.


I would BUT...

I can't really trust you
you're probably going to hurt me
I hate needing people
I hate disappointing people
I'm afraid


I would BUT...

There really is no point.
It really isn't worth it.
I just don't feel like doing it
Why do I always have to be the one
It's not my fault
I shouldn't have to
I don't deserve this
I have other things to do
I don't really want to

NOW.

Is your opportunity.

You didn't ask for this tragedy.

It is here and it is an opportunity to change your life.

Growth is painful Busting...

Time to get busy.

How?

Laser shots. What you don't like. Specific behavior. Ways you act. Choices you make. Fears you harbor. Words you speak.

Hunt them down and kill them.

Today's targets:

Denial. Avoidance. Procrastination.
Disorganization.
Helplessness.

Figure I'll give myself a bunch of targets packed closely together so that I'm bound to hit something while focusing on being even happier and more effective today.

Thanks again, True.

You are AWESOME!

[Busting Mode]

A "strategy" can be defined as a way of organizing your resources to consistently produce a desired result.

I have a strategy for investing my time and efforts wisely throughout my work day.

When I follow it, I have fearsome focus when I am on, and clean refreshing breaks when I am off.

My promise to myself today is to continue with my strategy for work.

It works when I work it!

Keep up!

[Truegritter]

Good step for your Busting.

Get to gettin'

[Truegritter]

I can't really trust you
you're probably going to hurt me
There really is no point.
It really isn't worth it.
Why do I always have to be the one
It's not my fault
I shouldn't have to
I don't deserve this

Busting just reading over your BUTs most of them are yours meaning they are about you

BUT

These ^^^^^ have to do with what has happened or maybe what you fear will happen with your W.

You can't control your W

BUT

You can control how you deal with what has happened to you.

To heal

To forgive.

This IS something that can keep you stuck as well because as long as you harbor these BUTs you will be standing in line at the bus station to buy your one way ticket to Bitterville.

You are only a victim once. After that, you are a volunteer. And it is an excuse for not doing better.

This all about YOU. You choose what and how it will break or not break you.

There is a time for your W, and you, to address the trust and things that were destroyed.

Now is not that time.,

This is YOUR time so use it wisely.

Every day.

[Busting Mode]

There is a time for your W, and you, to address the trust and things that were destroyed.

Now is not that time.,

This is YOUR time so use it wisely.

Every day.

Again, thank you.
I will.
I am.

And bless you. Truth is your identity.

[Busting Mode]

Going deeper...

I would BUT...

I don't feel like it
I just don't feel like it.
I just don't feel like doing it right now.
Maybe I'll do it later.
Or not.


I can see a connection here between how upset I was with my wife who, it appeared to me, was just going with her feelings and not really thinking things through.

We dislike in others what we most dislike within ourselves.

If I didn't have that very same trait of just doing whatever the hell I feel like without really thinking it through, and without really thinking about other people...it wouldn't make me so upset seeing similar patterns in my wife.

My feelings were:

I can act with impunity.
I can do whatever I feel like doing.
I don't have to worry about other people
and that's the way I like it.
so p*ss of and leave me the hell alone.
I'm just gonna do it my way anyway no matter what you say.

Even if my way doesn't work.
At least I know it's mine
and I am being true to me.

Wow. If she was even a fraction as scared and callous as me, right now those could be my wife's words exactly.


I haven't just been letting my thoughts unconsciously determining my behavior, I've been letting my feelings get the better of me as well.

I've been allowing myself to indulge in feelings that do not serve my purpose.

Good news is I'm now on a search and destroy mission.

One way that pattern is showing up for me is in my avoidance of responsibility.

"I just don't feel like doing it right now" has to be replaced.

Wow. I was even about to say "I'll come back and write more about this later because...

I just don't feel like doing it right now.

But I already know the solution to this one...
Even did it at the beginning of my work day today.

It's called "Eat That Frog."

Brian Tracy's focal point technique of doing the most difficult things first.

Good enough for now.

[Busting Mode]

Jus' journalin'

feeling a bit melancholy at the moment.

kinda tired of analysing, wondering, wandering, living here in limboland

My patterns:

Why do I have to _____ when she isn't ______?
Why should I _____ if she doesn't _______?


I really am still acting like a child sometimes.

Here's a better way:

Needs are more essential and fulfilling than desires.
To figure out what I want, I ask:

What would I like to have?

But to figure out what I need, I think of myself at some point in the future looking back on this, and I ask:

What would I like to have done?

I would like to have just shut up and do as I was told by my coach.

I would like to have given The WAW time and space to come to me.

It worked when I did it twice before, and The WAW has already told me she is going to attend a coaching session...

So I would have liked to use these next few days as an opportunity to be patient, to not force or coerce in anyway, and to become even more attuned to the needs of my best friend.

I would not like to have indulged in any kind of shenanigans that could have jeopardized our chances of reconciliation, even though The WAW is saying she is not committed, that she wants to be single, and that she no longer wants to be with me.

Looking back on this, just as I have vowed, I would like to have been an outstanding husband first and foremost.

And so I must continue to think, feel, act and behave like the outstanding husband that I am.

Period.

Sleep well everyone.

[Busting Mode]

Remember that time and the WAS's ambivalence are friends of the LBS.

Remember that L---- is my best friend and right now she is still feeling scared and uncertain of what to do.

She. Is. My. WIFE!!!

And I know I am her man.

[Truegritter]

If she this then I will that...

Why do I have to _____ when she isn't ______?
Why should I _____ if she doesn't _______?

Busting I don't want too give you to much to digest all at once but this is a good thing to realize.

You are asking yourself some good questions.

Quid pro quo?

Is that the meaning of love?

You may have seen me say this...

How would you like to be loved?

When you are peaceful and content.

Or when you are scared and confused?

So scared you run away.

When is the time that love has its greatest power?

And clearest expression of its worth?

Everybody loves cute little fluffy bunnies.

That's easy.

Lay up.