I don't feel like it I just don't feel like it. I just don't feel like doing it right now. Maybe I'll do it later. Or not.
I can see a connection here between how upset I was with my wife who, it appeared to me, was just going with her feelings and not really thinking things through.
We dislike in others what we most dislike within ourselves.
If I didn't have that very same trait of just doing whatever the hell I feel like without really thinking it through, and without really thinking about other people...it wouldn't make me so upset seeing similar patterns in my wife.
My feelings were:
I can act with impunity. I can do whatever I feel like doing. I don't have to worry about other people and that's the way I like it. so p*ss of and leave me the hell alone. I'm just gonna do it my way anyway no matter what you say.
Even if my way doesn't work. At least I know it's mine and I am being true to me.
Wow. If she was even a fraction as scared and callous as me, right now those could be my wife's words exactly.
I haven't just been letting my thoughts unconsciously determining my behavior, I've been letting my feelings get the better of me as well.
I've been allowing myself to indulge in feelings that do not serve my purpose.
Good news is I'm now on a search and destroy mission.
One way that pattern is showing up for me is in my avoidance of responsibility.
"I just don't feel like doing it right now" has to be replaced.
Wow. I was even about to say "I'll come back and write more about this later because...
I just don't feel like doing it right now.
But I already know the solution to this one... Even did it at the beginning of my work day today.
It's called "Eat That Frog."
Brian Tracy's focal point technique of doing the most difficult things first.
Good enough for now.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
