It is becomeing very clear that I need to a least go dim.
But not sure how.
Right now we need to come up with $600 to pay her oldest daughter back because she agree to her youngest daughter to send her to FLA for a school trip. Of course we didn't have the money and she blames me because of the type of work I do. We do have it now, but not sure I want to be the nice guy here. I also don't want to cause more resentment either.
So How do I deal with that issue?
Then she writes to a mutual friends of our with the following:
Here is the deal, I am not in love with my H anymore. I haven't been for a couple of years. I am not really sure why. He is attentive and tries to do anything and everything to make it like it was in the beginning. I believe that when we got together he was what I needed at that time. I was just out of a terribly abusive relationship. I had two daughters with him and was married to him for 15 years. My current was the polar opposite of my ex. We also shared a love of soccer. He was a coach and both my daughters played. I clung to him and he to me. We both were newly divorced and it just felt right. As time went on I realized that it seemed that the only thing we actually had in common was soccer. He also had 5 boys that we had custody of in addition to my 2 girls. All the boys did not like me and all were constantly in trouble. Selling drugs, taking the car and wrecking it without permission, alcohol, sneaking out, running away and just plain mean to me which also put a strain on the mariage. In addition, he was out of work for several of the years we have been together. I do understand the economy is in the toilet and he would take jobs just to get some money but that also was difficult for me. I believe that all these factors played into my feelings or lack of feelings for him. It has really escalated in the last year. I know its all me as he does try to do things for me. He knows were I am with regard to him and does not want me to leave. I feel bad for feeling the way I do but I can't help it. I have absolutely no desire to have sex with him and it is a struggle when I do finally relent. I want to leave but am just not quite mentally ready. I am not looking for another relationship by any means. I feel that I need time to get to know myself. My daughters will both be in college in Kansas this fall so I think that is what I am waiting for. I also do not want to hurt him although I understand this is inevitable. Although, I do have needs that have to be met mentally and physically.
So do I let her run around, have her fling and not be accountable or just not care?
