On Sunday morning, W and I got into an argument over money. Chalk one up for more miscommunication and frustration on my part. I just felt overwhelmed with her asking me to fill out paperwork for the D and her wanting to talk about our budget. One of my issues in the past is that I would put things off until I was ready to take care of them. That’s exactly what I did and she was all over me. She broke down crying saying that she hates being dependent on me. She feels like I throw that in her face. I can understand why she would feel like that. I brought up some of the $$ I had spent, which I felt was to help her out. She didn’t like it, but I thought it needed to be said.
I did leave the room when the argument got too heated. A few minutes later we were able to calmly, yet emotionally finished our discussion. I then left the house to run a couple of errands.
When I got back from the grocery store, she came across the kitchen and gave me a hug. These are the things that confuse the heck out of me. It completely caught me off guard. I didn’t even see her coming towards me as I was putting things away. She said she doesn’t want to fight with me and I said the same thing back. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the hug, but what does it mean? Does she see me pulling away and she reels me back in? Who knows? I know this whole thing makes my head hurt no matter how hard I try to do the right things.
Between the argument and the W moving out in a couple of weeks, this gave me a great deal of anxiety.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
