The Lies and Deception Killing Me

[abbey1989]

So today....
Was up literally ALL of last night. Tossing and turning. Tried cooling off and sat outside for awhile, walked aimlessly around the house in the dark. Once the sun started to come up, I took a 2 mile walk.

H asked if I got any sleep and I told him maybe 1/2 hr is all. He asked why did I think I couldn't sleep and I told him my stomach was upset (not a lie). Anyway, he did tell me he hopes I feel better.

I have a test tonight in class and haven't even studied. I know I need to turn this around and get with it but I have no interest in anything. ANYTHING. I need to get with it and pay bills....housework...all of it. It is all so overwhelming right now.

I know I need to put my "big girl panties on" and snap out of this, but i'm fading. I feel like a shell of who I thought I was. The happy perky nice gal who once adored her H and life.

I guess a mini goal today will be to put one foot in front of the other. Maybe eat something and maybe smile.