And things remain status quo....

[zengypsy]

Hey BITS....

I just wanted to check in with everyone to say a quick hello.

I haven't been on the boards much these days because there has been no change in my sitch and with 20 days until the D is final, I doubt there will be any change. Plus I'm starting to get into my busy time at work before the summertime comes then everyone will be away starting in June. Then I will enjoy my quiet time again!

I did get 2 emails from STXH about a week ago. It was very business-like. Just about taxes and some insurance remibursement checks he owes me. I get anxious now when I get emails from him. Then I calm myself down.

I have made the decision to continue to DB even tho I will be D'd. I have to admit thought that there are days that I wonder if it's the right decision. On most days I think it is. I think for me with all the progress that I have made, that I have hope that my STXH one day will have the trust in me to see that my actions now support my words. And we can start off reconnecting as friends. I then would be able to get a better gage on things and if nothing changes, I truly feel that I/we have given it a fair shake on every level possible. That would be closure.

I know that the 16 year M I had is dead and gone. And I am happy about that because it wasn't working. It has taken me a long time to figure that out and accept it. What I want is a new M, hopefully some day with my STXH because I know that I now have what it takes to make it work.

I have greatly appreciated all the very wonderful advice I have gotten on these boards and continue to receive. These are some of the greatest gifts I get each day.

I pray for each and every one of you to stay on your journey and continue to be stronger every day.

Much love - ZEN