update

[zengypsy]

grr...

I don't think you backslid either. I've said the same thing to my STXH. To this day, he knows clearly where I stand on this D going thru. But my D is going to happen anyway. I can't stop it; only he can.

My STXH has said that by the time he left last Feb. that it wasn't about me anymore it was about him. That we have to learn to live our lives without each other. That he's happy I found tools etc. to get me better, but it's all come too late. I can't say that he isn't 100% correct. His leaving certainly helped me jump start the process to change. And it's what I've always wanted but just never got in with the right therapist until last year. Plus finding MWD's book and these boards. In the end, I have done all this work to make the changes and happily so. I really like who I am now and what even makes it beter is that other people are noticing the changes. So that just seals the deal that my actions are supporting my changes.

I think grr that our WAH's need to feel in control and leaving/filing is their way of doing that. It's certainly not the right attitude to take IMHO, but we can't control them. Quite frankly, my controlling behavior in my own M I can see now was nothing more than exhausting not only to my H but to me. If I had just been able to share the load better, I would have maintained more balance in my life and my M.

Hang in there. You know I think you are doing a great job. You aren't as far off the ledge as you think you are. Again....just MHO.