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Navy,
I think 2step has some solid advice for you. Right now is not the time to escalate this thing. If you want to apologize, do it. But, don't do it to get a reaction. Just let her know that you feel as though you made a mistake and you wanted her to know that. There is no harm in this.

On the flip side, SBH is also correct. It may be time to get an attorney just so that you can know what your rights are regarding your family. Hey, it is not pleasant, but you should do it. I have. It doesn't mean you are going to file or that things are over. But, you need to know what you need to do to protect yourself.

Good Luck!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
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Quote:
Most of my people think that I am nuts to have let this go on for this long.

Most people would think that. It is not about what others think it is about what you feel is right. This is YOUR M not theirs it is not about how they feel, it is about how YOU feel

Quote:
I think my biggest problem is that I feel like this isn't a controlled separation,

Niether one has agreed to date other people, neither has filed for a D she has left but has not emotionally D you yet. You still have contact and she has asked for time and space. It is pretty controlled, just doesn't feel that way.

Quote:
I still think she was honest yesterday when she told me that she's trying to figure things out and hasn't had the space to do so...

Don't be part of the problem be part of the solution


BITS

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Navyguy Offline OP
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Just got on my plane to go back to DC. D5 kept saying she wanted to go with me. So sad.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 351
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Back in DC. Last post was cut short because the flight attendant made me turn off my phone.

I ended up apologizing to W before I left, and it went fairly well. She acknowledged my need to be the kids father, and said she's deciding if he can come back and work on things, or come back and not work on things. Hopefully that means whatever happens I'll still be near our kids. D5 was a total wreck when I was saying goodbye she wouldn't let go of me...dont envy W having to deal with those emotions tonight. D5 even said she doesn't want to stay in Colorado with mommy and she wants to come to DC with me. Probably wasn't easy for W to hear, but she held the best poker face I've ever seen throughout the whole thing. She did tell D5 that she'll plan a visit for D5 out to DC soon. That was good and bad to hear...told me this wont be endung anytime soon. No hug from W this time either...probably because her friend told her that I thought after the hug last time i thought she was ready to get back together. W was very cold to me the entire day today. Well, another trip over...back to focusing on myself. Planning to go dark with W for awhile now...she wants space, she's gonna get it.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 678
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"W was very cold to me the entire day today."

This is typical WAW behavior.
Try not to let it hurt you.
It helps to see your WAW as a lost and confused stray,
as opposed to someone trying to teach you some lesson.

Sooner or later the LBS has to become the tower of strength, stouthearted and rock steady. Fake it till you make it.
If in the end, if she still wont moor on your dock, There's nothing you can do to force it; you've still saved yourself.


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
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"Fake it till you make it."

I really like that!


BITS
M 38
W 36
D 7
Married 15 yrs
W left for 6 months in 2009
W Filed for D 01/03/11
piecing now...
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Navyguy Offline OP
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Well, today I found out that the academic journal article I wrote while I was in grad school is getting published.

Tomorrow I am being promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Commander in the Navy.

Yay.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Congratulations.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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That is awesome Navy.

One of my best friends is a Commander in HI.

He spent a good portion of his life under water in a phallic shaped boat full of seaman.

BTW Thanks for your service.

Got your challenge coin?


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
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Congratulations Navy,

JMO, going dark with W is a good idea.


BITS
Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55
D 30
S 27

You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
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