Not sure I can keep going?

[InAPickle]

My biggest frustration is that my wife took her concerns about our marriage to someone outside of the marriage. She identified to the OM all the issues she had with me and he began to meet those needs and looks like a real hero. She then tells me that she shouldn't have to tell me what her needs are. Go figure.

.... she still does not say good morning or good night to me unless I say it first. Not sure where that comes from??? Why can't a person make at least some effort to communicate.

Doesn't seem to be any change in our roommate status. I wonder how much of this our 3 kids pick up on. Must be weird to have parents that never hug, kiss or show any form of affection for each other.

Your sitch is similar to my own Punchy.
W gets her endorphins from OM
No "goodnights" etc.
Kids notice everything, but you will take good care of them.
Hang in there. You are not alone.

It's a similar pattern of behavior.
You have to decide how you want to ride it out.
In my case W wants a D and roommates.
After much rollercoaster riding, I am giving her what she wants.

It becomes easier once you get off the coaster,
once you are emotionally prepared to move on without her.
It's called detaching. I've been thru hell for four months.
And finally reached a point where I can move on with or without.
Even with her under the same roof and in the same house, you can still GAL and take care of the kids and let her go.
It's possible. In fact, it is the only recourse.

Only then will you realize that you are the stronger party, the steady rock, your happiness does not depend on her, your light shines brightly, you do not allow anything she does to "hurt" your feelings, you are more prepared to forgive her than she is to forgive herself.

It has taken me four and a half months. You'll get there. Try and enjoy your life while you have it and let the time go by.

Prayers
Pickle