My W just left the house, and it went VERY well. I know only time will tell, but I am excited. I am also aware that there are no guarantees, but I can't help but get my hopes up. It was the first positive sign that I have seen in almost 6 months. As soon as she left I thanked GOD, and cried. I asked Him for a miracle today, and prayed as I do everyday. Here is how it went.
My W came over tonight so that we could talk about our bills and to discuss everything. I know going in that we don't need to discuss our bills, and I am certain that she wants to talk about the D, and our house. She walks into the house and comments how good it looks and that she really likes the living room set. I let her lead the conversation, and it takes about 5 minutes to begin.
We are sitting on the couch, close, but with a space bw us. She isn't saying anything, but I notice she is fighting back tears and starting to cry. So, I decide to ask her what was wrong, and what was on her mind. She says how stressfull everthing is, she hasn't felt like herself in a long time, and that she doesn't know what she is doing. She told me that she really missed my D, and really started to cry. I moved closer to her where our bodies were touching, and put my hand on her foot and leg and lightly rubbed her. She did not pull away at all.
She said that she decided she needed to be by herself to figure out what she wanted, and that OM is in the process of moving out at the end of the week.
She also says that she does not want to get my hopes up, but that she has been thinking about moving back home for the last couple of weeks.
I asked her if she missed me and she said of course as tears were running down her face. (I did not DB anymore, but spoke to her from my heart. I felt it was the right thing to do.) I told her that I loved her and that I missed her too.
She started asking me questions if I would be able to trust her again, about how our sex life would be (how do we get it back), about how we got here, etc. I told her that I had forgiven her for everything that had happenned, and asked her if I have ever done or said anything that would make her think otherwise, which she said no too. Then she said how great of a person I was, and that she can't believe that she did this to us. I then took responsibilty for my part in it, and told her that I wasn't keeping score, that we both got us here. I just want to move forward.
I told her that I loved her with everything that I am and that I have never been more committed to our M and her than at any other point in our R. She said that she knew that, and that she had hurt me so much. She said that she wouldn't have been able to handle it if I had done to her what she did to me. I told her that I didn't think that I would be able to handle it either, but that this showed me what she and our M really meant to me.
I told that if she decided to move home, that we would go to counseling to get through this together. And then when things were going well, we would still go to counseling to make sure they stay that way.
She told me several times that she did not want me to get my hopes up, but she needed to tell me what she had been thinking.
Then she started talking about how all of the furniture would be arranged in the house (with the things she took out). Asked me what an entertainment center looked like that I was thinking about getting, and said we should get it if it looks good and would fit the t.v. (which she has).
Just before she left, I decided to initiate a hug. She actually hugged me, and when I told her that I loved her, she told me that she loved me too. I held onto her for a minute bf letting her go. It has been 6 months, and it felt so good.
When she left, we said bye to each other, and she told me several time that she would call me. Said she was going to go to the book store to get a book about relationships. I recommended to her that she rebuy the book she already bought and read it HNHN, and that I read it and it will answer a lot of the questions she asked me about us.
As she was leaving, I told her that I had no idea what she wanted to talk about tonight. She said that she did not either, but that she knew we did not need to talk about our bills.
I know I left out a lot of our conversation, but this is the best I can remember right now. I need to let this sink in for a little bit, and I will remember more of it. I feel so good right now bc this was COMPLETELY unexpected. I know that I am on dangerous ground here, but atleast I am here.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
Wow islander...freaking awesome. I don't think you could have handled things better. I hope that someday I will have the same conversation with my W.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
