Just wanted to say about your convos with H in New York - One thing my H and I had a problem with was avoidance. He wouldn't tell me the truth about how he was feeling because it would upset me and make me feel unloved. Of course he wasn't really protecting ME, but protecting himself from having to deal with my feelings (and maybe protecting himself from hearing himself say things he knew weren't very nice?). One key to more honest communication between us has been that he needs to know I won't freak out on him, and I need to accept that I won't always like what I hear. Sounds like you did a good job
