detached from everyone - but ok...

[TAMF]

update:

Last Wednesday, I was pulling up to the house after work and H was in the garage with door open. I pulled into the garage and started laughing, he came around the side of the car and I told him that he was pretty brave to be standing in front of my car like that...I have a history of ramming things if he remembers (we both burst out laughing). He asked how my day at work was and I told him it was bad. He says to me...

why don't you put off the lawyer meeting on Friday until you get work stuff figured out. I looked at him funny and said that the stuff I was dealing with at work is on-going, there is no reason to put off the lawyer. He says, "just put it off." I said, no, that the lawyer already has the retainer everything is in motion. Then I asked if we were still going to tell the kids that night. He said, "no, I don't want to. we can tell them later." I gave him a sad smile and siad that we can't keep putting it off. He said that he wanted to wait till they got back from Florida with my parents (which would be March 16th) I said that would be okay.

I got out of the car and was standing right in front of him, I looked at him and said, "you are having a really hard time with all of this arn't you?" He looked at me with watery eyes (no tears, he NEVER cries)and told me that he was having a really hard time - much harder than I was obviously. I said very sincerely, "you said you dont want to be married to me anymore. we are okay now, we will stay friends and be okay." He gave me a big giant hug and a kiss on the forehead.

We have been getting along really well, I do spend most of my nights in my bedroom while he is in the family room. He is so funny, he will text me while he is sitting on the lazy boy chair - making comments about the girls or the dogs or what is on TV. Always trying to make me laugh.

I feel really secure in my decision. I am not faultering. I feel strong and happy. I knew it would hit him hard when I finally went to the lawyer, but truly it is more about the girls for him than it is about me. For that I feel sorry for him, the girls and myself. but we will be okay.