......are these itty bitty baby steps?

[Lost Rabbit]

Hi GAG, I know I only pop in and catch up but the big thing that grabbed me is that you and H are communicating really painful stuff to each other.. Well you are allowing H an ear/shoulder to talk to you and I know he will appreciate that, Im sure thats one of the things that probably went missing in your R it certainly did in mine, we become to quick to think we know what they are thinking and not ask.. The fact that a) he brought up the sis incident and b) you also agreed to help him combat dealing with sis is a big move forward, you may not realise it but you are working like a team again.. teams need to communicate who is doing what plays, if we all assume BOB is going to throw the ball and all stand there waiting for him, one he may not have the ball, two he may not realise we are waiting for him to throw and three we havent communicated where its going once its been thrown or to whom it should be thrown.. In this little ball scenario you can see how a few assumptions get the whole team no where fast! In some way it would be good for you to show him you will be a team player in what is about to happen with MIL, obviously you cannot dictate to him but let it be known you will be there for him, and will do anything to assist him when the time comes.. This will really throw him for six.. big tip what ever you do DO NOTHING that will appear to be MOTHERING HIM.. One of the few times my H has lost his rag was around the time his mother died, a week or two before he would have agreed probably with the opinion I had of her (she thought I was wrong for her little boy) but the weeks after she went she achieved sainthood for a while, to rock this boat would not be good! So keep any affection you show him sexual rather than mothering if at all possible! Take care will pop in soon x