Yes that was the plan, I am also here for my mom surgery so I have been shooting messages to my wife about how she is doing. I guess I need to not check in with her, just do for me.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
I have been shooting messages to my wife about how she is doing. I guess I need to not check in with her, just do for me.
I agree. If your W is concerned about your mother, she will contact you or somebody in the family to see how things are going.
It is very, very easy for the LBS to find legit reasons to contact the WAS. You just have to keep yourself from doing it. Each time you resist the temptation to contact, that's a big step in detaching.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
[quote] You just have to keep yourself from doing it. Each time you resist the temptation to contact, that's a big step in detaching.
So, should I even call to talk to my kids? I am going to be here another 5 or 6 days.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Yes, talk to your children. Just don't fool yourself into thinking you are doing something for the kids (like calling to say good-night)when the truth is that you want to talk to W.
There are many threads here on the board where it's obvious the H is using his kids to get to his W.....but he doesn't see it.
As old as your children are, you should be able to tell them to expect a call at a certain time, or better yet...let them call you. That keeps the W out of it all together.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I will see what happens, I will see if she calls me tomorrow. And by the way, I can assure you I call for the kids only. Trust me, I always have. I actually tried to keep the conversation between her and I very brief. She asked how my mom was, I told her the situation and asked if I could talk to the kids, when I was done, same thing, very quick and to the point. She still has not emailed me in the week I have been gone.
Well it is 745pm in Germany and no communication with me today. I hoped she would call at least for the kids to talk to me. I will fight the urge and she will have to be the one who calls or emails first. Problem with this is she will Probably be pissy when she does email or call.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Well it is now 830pm there and the kids should be in bed. I may go call just to say hey to them but I hate that my mom has been in the hospital and all my wife cares about is chatting online with her "friends". She chats and titters all darn day every day. She seems to know nothing else anymore except that.
