Turned a corner

[MrBond]

First step: Stop being so needy.

Right now you seem to have forgotten that he has OW.

"I went in for a hug and he resisted, saying that he tried already this morning."

This is him playing you. He wants to be sure he still has your loyalty, so he plays the pity card and you fall for it. Did HE say anything about the things that he had done wrong? You notice that all he's done is talk about the changes you've made but he can't trust them to stick. BS. That's pure WAS game playing.

He switches the blame to you which has you looking for any attention from him. What about his choice to have OW? Unless that is addressed with remorse on his part about the things that HE has done wrong, you cannot heal.

"He said that he hopes that I know he too loves me but but but."

More game playing. He is trying to get you to do all the work. What guy doesn't like a woman stroking his ego? Doing whatever he wants to do with a snap of his fingers? And have OW on the side.

IMO, you need to stand strong and start detaching. Right now you are too attached. He will disappoint you. That is a given. Start doing what I suggested in terms of making yourself look great, build up your selfl-esteem. Get your confidence. That is what will attract him back. Not the begging or the wishing he hugged you, etc.