2step, I really don't understand her sudden change either. For so very long she seemed to be moving in the right direction, but there has been a change.
My question to this would be…
Have you really changed your controlling thought patterns?
Have you really been paying attention to things in the books and what you hear here on the website?
They come closer and pull back. It is normal and natural to expect this sort of behavior. You should prepare for it…
One step towards you, in NOT reconciliation.
It is also not necessarily the “right” direction in their minds.
Hence, the pull back…
They have to think and consider and decide which way to go next…
It may be the desired outcome of the LBS, but it isn’t up to you or I or anyone but them, to decide if the way they are going it right or wrong…
This sort of thinking…is only going to hurt YOU in the end.
Originally Posted By: 2step
The car thing is a little annoying to me but I have no control over that.
This is exactly why she thought she shouldn’t tell you. Because you wouldn’t approve.
It isn’t up to you to approve or disapprove of her choices.
Originally Posted By: 2step
Maybe it is still a part of the old me but everytime she says "i'll call you again H" or "maybe i will call you tonight" it sounds like she is doing me a favor. Maybe its silly but it gets under my skin. I feel like saying "don't do me any freaking favors babe" I am sure that would get me a great reaction.
There is no maybe…
This is a part of the old you, who is apparently still hanging around.
A part that doesn’t like the way things are going and WANTS to react with anger and selfrighteousness.
But…is an excuse. To act in whatever way you want to act.
Instead of examining why you still feel that way.
Instead of finding the underlying reasons for it…
This is why we look within…
To find out WHY WE react in the ways that we do, to things that they do or don’t do.
This isn’t a game to win them back. It isn’t a chess match, to be one or two steps ahead, or a day in court as the defense attorney, to out argue the prosecutor and win over the jury. It is a way, to change your life for the better. To be the better option. If that leads to reconciliation, that is a wonderful thing.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
