Husband got home last night. It was ackward because I already knew that he had lied to me about flight times.
Fast forward....I brought up the R because I had, had enough of the pain. I said "I have come to a decision while you were gone. I choose to continue in the M and with a lot of effort and luck we will have a great future."
He did his usual dance and said that he thinks he should continue with his plan and move. We finished watching TV and I went to bed.
This am, as I was getting out of bed, he came into the room and tried to hug me. Stupid ME, brushed right past him. We went down stairs and had the same R talk again. I was DB'ing (correctly) and he was crying. He is a confused man. He is afraid to waste more of his life living this way.
I told him it was to painful for me live as roommates. I cannot eat or sleep (lost 40lbs since Jan 1st) he said that I am getting to thin. He feels that I ignored his opinions and person for the last 18 months. He feels that I always ignore my daughter's wrong doing. He is correct.
I went in for a hug and he resisted, saying that he tried already this morning. He grabbed me and we had the best hug that I have had in a year. I felt safe again.
He said that he keeps asking himself why I didn't make all the changes before he "checked out"? That confirmed to me he has noticed. He also said that he is afraid that if he doesn't move he will be letting himself down. I think he is embarrassed in front of his friends, if he doesn't move.
He went to take a shower and I was lying in bed (took a day off) we talked some more and I could tell he was getting agitated. I ended with "you do know I love you, I don't need you, I want you." He said he knows that. He said that I am very independent, self sufficient. He said that he hopes that I know he too loves me but but but.
We had another long tight hug and he went to work. He wants me to meet him later in the day so he can take my car for service.
On a side note...he did tell me where his new place is and how much he has been paying in rent. Our monthly housing expense is over 4,000 dollars. Can't he see that we can't do that???
Now what, next steps?
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
