Rolling with the punches

[Redo]

Journalling...

Wow this weekend was an emotional rollercoaster ride for me.. All by myself with no help from others...

So i was talking a colleague of mine who is also divorced. He talked about checking on match making websites to consider re-marrying again. Heard this before and never considered looking at the them. On friday i decided to take a peek. Bad idea. Now I have this thought in my head that if my W does go fully ahead with the divorce, then i'll just give up and look for someone else. Bad bad bad. I thought i was all ready to fight to make my W fall again for me and come back. I am now battling these 2 thoughts in my head.

At least one good thing that came out was this weird feeling of optimism. And feeling that i do need to take good care of my self physically if i need to be attractive to someone else.

I don't know. I feel like i am cheating on my wife. Yea i need to stop visiting those matchmaking websites...