I haven't been on the board in a few days, just was busy enjoying my kids while the W was away.
She got back late Saturday as their flight was delayed, so I didn't actually see her until Sunday.
We chated about the trip, I did my best to be interested and asked my D6 abut what she did and the fun she had.
I told my W, that "WE" missed them and she replied "Yes, I reaally missed D5 and D2" specifcally not mentioning me. Then started saying how depressing it was to be home, that she was so happy and optimistic when she was away (No kidding - she was on vacation, no work, only 1 kid and no me!)
I asked her if she was going to wish me a late Happy Birthday and she just said, "No it's not your birthday now, it's passed". I just said, we'll you could have called on my birthday?! She just said, "I wasn't paying attention to the days while I was away and didn't even realize it was your birthday." What BS, whatever.
Her first day back she went to look at houses again (she first lied to me and then admitted it). She went to get photos developed and she was gone for 3 hours.
I'm at a bit of a cross-roads emotionally. I'm detached from the feelings I have for her, in the fact that I am ok with the potential outcome of us not being together, but unfortunately I still feel love for her, so I'm ready for the end of us.
She still is distant, and just seems like she's moved on without me, even though we still live together.
I'm going out with my brothers and a bunch of friends for a big birthday bash this weekend (a few of us with March birthday's), and I'm really looking forward to it. I invited my W before she left, and she basically just said she wasn't interested. When she got back she mildly complained about me going out, but when I told her she was welcome to come and reminder her that I had opened the invitation to her - she said that we didn't have a baby-sitter almost as an excuse for her to come.
Anyways, I'm going to book the MC this week evenn though my W now seems to have no interest in going to MC. I'm not exactly sure what changed, or if simply the bad experience with the IC turned her off to councelling in general?
As the warmer weather starts I'm sure she'll want to discuss listing the house - I'm not looking forward to those conversations.
At times, I still cannot believe this is happening in my life -
I'm at a bit of a crossroads here, thinking about moving on and having serious conversations with my W about the steps to move on. It's not what I want deep down in my heart, but I'm not happy now and the emotional toll of the sitch is something I worry will continue to effect me for a long time to come.
SIC
Me - 34 W - 33 M - 8 years T - 15 years D7, D5, D2 Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY" W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
