The rest of the day was really weird for me. My wife called me to tell me that she could just switch me over to the safety deposit box. She then called a few minutes later to ask how my meeting with the mortgage company was. I told her that I would like to discuss this at home (was at work). She wanted to know then, so I told her what they told me. She wasn't too happy about it. She was saying that she could sell the Mustang for $11K (I got her a 1966 Mustang for our anniversary a few years back). With her just going on and on about needing all this money and how she had to have it to leave just did something to me. It's just like a switch went off in me. I had a calm/peace about me knowing it was over for good.
When I got home, I laid my wedding ring on the counter for her. It's just a ring so I want her to sell it so she can get what she needs. I was in bed by the time she got home. This morning, she seemed a little perturbed. She asked me if me leaving the ring on the counter was I trying to tell her something. I just said that she could sell it since she needed money. She told me that she couldn't get much for it. She sat down and said we could talk next week about drawing up the papers..no need for both of us to get a lawyer. While she was sitting there, I got up and went to get ready for work. I still have my peace and know I will be ok.
I'll grieve this marriage for 12 months, then I can fully move on with my life.
Well...My weekend was different. After work on Friday, I went home to take care of the dogs then immediately went out to a friends house. We had some fun (played a board game) and then I went home at about 11. My wife didn't get home till about 1 AM.
Saturday, I woke up at 6 and decided to go walk 5 miles. As soon as I left the house, she text me asking if I was ok. I text her back yes. She asked if I was going to be out all day and if she needed to take care of the dogs. She also asked if I gave one of our dogs his medicine. I ignored that part about being out all day and just apologized for not giving him his medicine. She text me back saying she didn't want an apology, just didn't want him to OD by her giving him some. She then said that she still cares about me and asked if I was ok again. I told her I was ok.
When I got back from my walk, I pulled up our bills online because we were supposed to go over them that day. She came out of her room and I asked her some questions about our account. She chuckled a little saying it was weird for her to see me so interested and active about the finances. I never was in the past. We went over the bills (it's funny, the bill she is taking with her has been paid on 4 times since she told me she wanted a D). I spent some of the day looking for furniture for her for her new place. I figure I could buy her a couch and a chair. I went to the movies later that night with a friend and was in bed by 11:45. She came home about 12:30 AM.
On Sunday, I woke up early to go to church again. As I was in the bathroom getting ready, she had this large bag on the closet door. She has been bringing this bag with her everyday. She carried her toothbrush and maybe a sweater or a pair of pants in there. This time, there was also her feminine wipes in there. that tells me her EA is now a PA. I finish getting ready and when I leave the bathroom she says hey (usually her sign to chat). We chat for a few minutes before I go back to the other bedroom for a while. She comes in there and wants to dispute some things on my credit report for me on Equifax. I set her up at my laptop and clean some things while she is doing that. We talk about me looking for some furniture for her and some other things.
I ask her about leaving her name on our loan and she said that is fine for now, but not to let it drag out for a few years. That upset me a little and I started back to my room. She asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing. She came back with "come over here and tell me". So I told her what I was feeling and she told me her concerns. I told her she was right and that I didn't think of that. After standing there in silence for a few minutes, I told her that she didn't have to come home if she didn't want to. I told her she doesn't owe me anything and that she shouldn't feel like she has to. She told me she knows and that she didn't have anywhere else to go. She then told me that she still loves me and really cares about me. She said that she would worry about me if it was 2 or 3 AM and I wasn't home. That is when I got stupid. I told her that I didn't mean to hurt her by saying this but that I wouldn't worry about her if she did that. I told her that I understand our situation and that I have to detach myseslf from her. She asked if that is how I was coping with it all. I told her yes. She said that she was also having to detach herself. That atually purterbed me a bit. I guess she doesn't realize that she detached herself emotionally on Valentine's day. I told her that I needed to leave for church and left.
After church, I went to Lowe's to apply for a credit card so she can get a washer and dryer. I got home, gave her the slip of paper with the account info and she left. Didn't see her again until this morning. I told her I was going to go take my shower and said have a nice day. She touched my arm and told me to have one too.
We are supposed to draw up our divorce agreement this week together and present it to the lawyer. She is moving out on the 16 of this month.
I don't think my sitch will last moderation! LOL We are supposed to draw up the papers this week.
Well, another weird morning. Usually, she gets up first and gets ready for work, then I get ready afterwards (about 7:15). This morning, I got up at 5:30 so I can leave work early. When I was going into the bathroom she woke up and asked me to come there. She asked if everything was ok which I replied that it was. She asked why I was up so early and I told her I needed to get somethings done at work. Then, out of the blue, she told me that she misses me. I told her thank you for saying that and that I missed her too. I then went and got ready for work.
Well...I guess that is something for me to cling to today.
Brian it's not over until you want it to be over. What do you want? How badly do you want it? What do you need to do to get there? Be patient here. I got discouraged with moderation too. We're so anxious when we come here. We feel our situations are so urgent. They are, but you can get through the moderation period. Persist.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
I had her check for the money she wanted (20K) lying on her pillow last night. Along with a note about her son and that if she needed/wanted to talk, I would be there for her.
I got an email today from her saying thank you for the note and check. That was sweet. She said we need to draw up the papers tonight. She then said "I really do appreciate how you have been through all of this. I know this is not easy for you or for me. We have a long history together and I hope in time we will be able to be close again.".
It's hard to DB when I only see her 10 minutes a day (if that much).
Scylla...I want her more then anything...I just don't know what to do anymore. I didn't think this would go so fast. She wants out so bad, I just don't understand it.
