Well, Starsky - that's a good question. I've been wondering which way to go on that for a while. I have heard both to tell them, and I've been told don't tell. That it will eventually come back and bite me. So, I have told them she filed for D. They haven't asked many questions. They are very angry, bitter, hurt and holding it all in right now while they process the situation. I don't want to give W any ammo by being able to say that I am mud slinging or trying to make her look bad. I think she is doing that well enough on her own right now. My kids and I are communicating more. I am letting them know that I am there whenever they want to talk, or if they need me. They don't feel that with my W right now - they feel like she is abandoning them and ripping apart our family.
As far as me and the W - it is very up and down. She will be very nice and considerate, and the next thing you know she is hateful and snide. I can't figure it out! LOL! She did say the other nite, I know you think that I am going to crash and burn - but I'm not. She was referring to her next relationship with the OM. I simply replied, Oh, ok. I wish you well. She is so consumed with the grass is greener scenario, and so convinced that he is such a nice guy. I don't know any other way than to let them have at it, and see for herself when it all crumbles apart. It's like watching your child start to stick a fork in the electrical outlet. You just know it's gonna end bad. But I'm slowly coming to realize that it's her mistake to make, and that I cannot control the situation and make her stop. It's sad, really.
The bad thing is, she is so convinced our M was NEVER any good, and she has done so much lately to damage both me and the kids, that I don't know if it can ever be repaired. I'm sure this relationship can't. I almost think that she would have to get out on her own, have her next relationship fail (or 2 or 3), finally realize that it's her and not the other people in her life that needs help, and then - maybe - we could start over again in a NEW relationship. Problem is, by then I might have moved on already and not be willing. Guess we will wait and see what develops. I just get so angry at her for putting my kids through all of this.
