wow, i didnt realize how long its been since i last posted.
Just an update and final goodbye here.
I've busted my ass these last few weeks trying to complete the renovations on the house to get top dollar with what we have. I should be done in a day or two. Call me picky (and my W thinks so) but i have standards. We call the realtor today to sign the deal and go to market. Bittersweet.
The last few weeks have been surreal. I look at my W now and feel nothing. To hear her laughing with the kids and being happy while i work is irritating. I need to move on and find some peace. Also, my current job is really taxing mentally and i daydream of moving elsewhere....too soon, that will come next.
But i guess this is goodbye from DB. This board is great for support for those wishing or hopeful to get back with there WAS. I do not fit that category any longer. Put a fork in it, its done.
Surreal...all too surreal. confused, dazed, tired...i need clarity, and real love. My children will love, i know that, and for that i am thankful and will be happy.
To Michele for this website, theory and forum, the mods and others here who kindly answered to my posts or acknowledged them, a sincere thanks for helping me through this life changing event. Thank you for allowing me to keep my sanity and see whats important. To others still fighting the battle, battle on and be happy, you will know when its time to move on too. Do not fear it.
I know i signed off on this thread in March but thought i would update one last time and move on to other areas of the forum for support.
I am feeling rather melancholy this morning and need an outlet so bare with me.
The house was fixed and sold for top dollar and moved out in April. I was too busy during this time, and subsequently moving out to my sisters temporarily, then moving into an apartment, dealing with the emotionaly needs of the kids etc. to maybe appreciate all my life changes. Well, i am finally settling in and getting in to a routine...which is creating thinking time...
The finances are okay, the apartment is working out great, and the kids seem to be adjusting thankfully. My relationship with W is getting worse if you can imagine. Its like she can't dare to look at me or talk to me for more than five minutes. It is aggravating, insulting and illogical. I don't know what drives it. She does not treat strangers this way.
I keep myself busy without thinking too much about tomorrow although i will have to wrestle with the issue of divorce at some point. Am I happy? At ease maybe, not entirely happy. I feel myself thinking of and missing my kids often, even though i see my oldest almost everyday after school. I do not miss my W, nor think of her much, funny that.
So I am still around and adjusting to single life. I have a moratorium on the ladies until i know my head is screwed on right, but maybe i can reach some semblance of 'happy' in the near future. Working out at the gym again and biking allows me to decompress. I'm getting there, where ever there leads me.
