Bond, thanks fOr your input. But I am not avoiding W at all bc I thinks she wants to talk about D. She has changed our meeting several times the day of, and I decided that I was going to be the one to change the meeting this time. I had the opportunity to go fishing and I said I couldn't bc of the meeting, then thought about it for a few minutes and decided that I should go and reschedule it. And I actually know what i am going to say and what I want in the D if and when SHE files. if she wants to talk about the D, I am going to tell her that is not something I want to talk about right now, nad that I have a lot of things that I need to figure out for myself. If we get to the D one day, I know what I want, our house (which I know she doesn't want- it is under right now) and she can take the credit card debt (about an equal trade). I am already starting to fix up the house, and I know she will be shocked to see what it looks like whenever she comes over. I am making these changes for me, so that I am not co stately reminded of the way things used to be.
Your right, she doesn't respect me at all. The only way I would take her back would be if she said that she made a mistake and that she really loved me. Right now, I don't see that as being realistic. I in no way would just let her move back in, and I know she wouldn't unless she really wanted to save our M.
As far as being single, I kinda am right now. But that doesn't mean that I should do. Allnof the things a single person would do. I am a M single person right now, atleast to the principles of M if nothing else. And if I were D tomorrow, I wouldn't even think about dating right now. I would need to do exactly what I am doing right now. Fixing up the house, working, spending time with my D, working out, and that would be about it for a while.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
Islander... Have you checked out the divorce busting page on facebook?
If not, go check it out... there are some good articles... I have even taken the time to COMMENT on some of them which I never do...
If we comment or 'like' them, they will keep posting them...
Go check it out man.. it will provide you MORE support.
bits DENVER
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Denver, I don't have a FB account so I don't know if I can.
I am not sure if I am actually going dark or not. It is my intention to, but the other day when we were discussing our bills and the kids, we exchanged about 90 text messages. That doesn't seem like going dark, but we really didn't discuss anything else. I will not respond to a text message or phone call tha is not related to those things.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Islander, it sounds like you're getting stronger. It may be baby steps but it seems that way. Ive had some good days and the last few have been bad. Ive been really missing my H. He usually answers my texts about generic things only and when he didnt the last 2 days its really bothered me. Ive also had to reply to his petition for the divorce and counter petition. That just breaks my heart. Im still holding onto hope that something will happen and it wont go thru. I dont know if hes seen the OW lately. I know they spent 4 days together a couple of weeks ago. I agree with the other posts that having another person is so disrepectful but at the same time i still want to try anything to make this work. I too wish i knew what H was thinking. Does he miss me? Does he think of me? Has he completely fallen for the OW? My kids are adults now and it is true that no matter what age this affects them. They are having a hard time with him being gone and the fact that there is OW involved. My son, finally, wrote H an email after 3 months. Of course he hasnt heard anything back from him. So along with the pain and hurt i feel on a totally different level i deal with the hurt and pain my kids are feeling. I dont know if the going dark technique has worked for me. Im sure when he sees the counter petition in the D papers it wont go over very well but my atty says i have to protect myself. ANyway, I wish you strong days ahead.
It seems like my W and I are getting further and further apart, or atleast she is from me. I haven't communicated with her much except through texting, and then she acts like nothing is wrong. As of today, I am still taking my SD out of town with me this weekend. I am excited, and I talked with her on the phone today and she was very excited about going with me.
I am starting to miss my SD more than my W. I have been feeling like this for a while now. I am alsO starting to feel that I will be ok without my W, and I find myself questioning why I want to be with somebody so much that doesn't want to be with me. I know the answer to that as well as anybody else that is here does. I am as committed to mh marriage as I have ever been. The only difference is I am starting to see that I don't NEED her to go on with my life. But I WANT her to be in my life, to move on with me. This is my choice. I still have rough days, but I don't cry as much as I used to. Only a couple times a week now, and sometimes just when I pray for her.
She is coming over tomorrow afternoon to talk to me. Her idea. I will listen and let her lead the conversation. I am nervous about wha she wants to talk about, but I am not going to let her see that.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
You are right. You don't need her to move on, but to many couples these days think giving up is easier than working on a brighter future with someone they truly loved at some point. Show her you are stong and keep your chin up.Either way I bet you will a much better person for having to go through this.
