That little engine that will ...

[MeMyselfandI]

Another update. Went to soccer and as planned, was on the track when H arrived. It was a good game, noticed H several times looking up to the track. He was so obvious sometimes I had to chuckle ... head completely cocked behind him while everyone else watches the game. It was like watching people in a tennis match where everyone follows the ball ... the one person who doesn't really stands out LOL.

Waited for a couple of minutes after the game to go downstairs and S came pulling on my arm saying Daddy wants you. He then, pushed me from behind almost throwing me into H who was standing talking to his friend who we both know fairly well. I tell H I have all the kids stuff in the van and can pull it over to his vehicle to unload. He responds saying dogs too? I say of course not, does he want to come and get the dogs now and he says sure. I tell him I also have some milk, chocolate milk, cooked taco meat and a few other things to send over 'cause they'll just go bad otherwise. He thanks me and jokes that he now doesn't have to cook dinner tonight to which his friend comments "sweet". Anyway, tell him and the kids I'll see them in a few minutes.

I get home and get everything ready to send over. D comes in and takes food stuff while H unloads everything from my van out front. He then comes in the garage and S has gone to his room to get his gerbil ... he wants to take it to dad's. I explain that he can't take the gerbil, it's too cold out and it will kill the gerbil if he tries to trasport him now. I then suggest to H that he can bring the kids over every few days to check on them to make them feel better.

H then says his vehicle if full and he can't take the dogs right now, he'll be back in a few minutes for them, (he doesn't live far from me). I say ok. H takes kids and supplies home and comes back for dogs. I'm in garage when he comes in and he asks about a couple of logistical things. I responded still going about what I was doing. He then goes on about my vehicle leaking some stuff on the garage floor and wonders if the dogs ever get into it. I explain the van is usually in there so they can't. He asks what time I get back on the 17th and I say I don't recall exactly but the kids can certainly come to my place after school as I'm supposed to be home early afternoon. He suggests he'll just stick with them staying with him till after work in case I'm delayed. He then says, ok, have a good trip.

OK, lots of babble here but that's exactly what it was. It was like he wanted to say/do more but was "scared and uncomfortable". He is really uneasy around me and I think it's because I haven't veered from my plans. I have continued to show confidence, I have continued to act "as if" and I have continued with a PMA and I have continued with no pressure. Sure, I think it's intimidating and scaring him, but I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing and I think he will eventually open up and tell me that.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say I do have one expectation tonight and that is, I will get a text from him after the kids have gone to bed. I know expectations are bad and I'm certainly not going to hold my breath till it comes but I do predict it will and I promise I won't be disappointed if it doesn't.