I haven't done everything wrong...

[islander]

It seems like my W and I are getting further and further apart, or atleast she is from me. I haven't communicated with her much except through texting, and then she acts like nothing is wrong. As of today, I am still taking my SD out of town with me this weekend. I am excited, and I talked with her on the phone today and she was very excited about going with me.

I am starting to miss my SD more than my W. I have been feeling like this for a while now. I am alsO starting to feel that I will be ok without my W, and I find myself questioning why I want to be with somebody so much that doesn't want to be with me. I know the answer to that as well as anybody else that is here does. I am as committed to mh marriage as I have ever been. The only difference is I am starting to see that I don't NEED her to go on with my life. But I WANT her to be in my life, to move on with me. This is my choice. I still have rough days, but I don't cry as much as I used to. Only a couple times a week now, and sometimes just when I pray for her.

She is coming over tomorrow afternoon to talk to me. Her idea. I will listen and let her lead the conversation. I am nervous about wha she wants to talk about, but I am not going to let her see that.