I know this may sound extremely insane - but I would still be married, working through the enormous mental issues H is having = AND lovingly guiding my family. Why??? Don't I deserve something better?? - Because I made a vow in front of God and friends and family and that means something! 10 years, 20 years from now I truly believe I would never have regretted doing that.
Today, 10-20 years from now I will still be this same person. I do not have regrets about what I have done within the marriage - nor after this devastation. I am nor will I ever be perfect. But I am the type of person who tries not to make the same mistake twice. I am the type of person who tries to listen and adjust my behavior to reflect the needs of the whole. I have cried in front of my kids / friends / family. I have slept a lot - I have had many days when I have barely gotten by. But I have no regrets.
I don't think you are insane at all. I too feel the same about my vows not only to my H but also to God. You are doing great IB. God is with you in this season of your life. Crying, sleeping, taking care of you and your family are all things you must do to make it through this, but God is right there with you.
Blessings!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
