Rysmom-
I peek at your thread every once in awhile, so forgive me for offering my opinion without having a lot of background info to go on.

You need to stop feeding yourself these thoughts. That you can't go on, that you are not strong enough for this, that you don't have a support system, that you won't be able to handle losing your house - yes you will, yes you will, yes you will.


I can completely relate to where you are coming from. I am a very nervous person as well. I have dealt with anxiety issues my whole life. I was blindsided by my husband's affair in June. I am 1,000 miles away from family. Everyone loves my husband. We are both teachers, we share students. I have to hear at least once a week how wonderful he is. He is having his affair with another teacher. He left me. I am losing my house, I am changing jobs, I have had to give up friends, and family.

When it first happened I thought, " Well this is it, this will be the end of me. I am not strong enough to make it through something like this."

But I did. I started by just getting out of bed every morning for my son. Taking my son places when I was afraid to leave the house. Each moment that I pushed through the " I don't think I can do this" was another gain in stregnth. Every time I told myself I felt like I don't have a support system, I reminded myself that I can get one.

Please know what you are telling yourself is not true. You can find people. You can be a person that your son respects. You can be happy without this man. I think this limbo is killing you. You need to start experiencing the amazing life that you can have.

I have read parts of your thread. You seem like you have a lot more going for you than I do, and I am navigating my way through this. I am very sad some days, but many days I am very happy. And I am alone. Raising a 2 year old, while my husband is still with the OW.

I don't know if you are doing this,but sign up for the divorce care emails. I know that you are a spiritual person and they are amazing. They will help you know that you can make this. Your self worth is not determined by this man, it is determined by God and he loves and thinks that you are an amazing person. God will take care of you. He will send you what you need. And you don't need this man.